Memories

Driving across the plains in a pickup truck. My husband is driving, and Roger Miller is singing Bobby McGee on Willie's Roadhouse. We are on the way to my family reunion in the town where I was born, raised, married, raised three children, divorced, and set free. It is always emotional when I go back. The school is new,  most of the storefronts are different or vacant, the hospital is now a nursing home, and the Pontiac anchor dealership is an empty concrete slab. Driving into town memories flood my mind. Even though I try to avoid the emotions, they still hit me in the back of my knees. We first greet the cemetery where my mom and dad are both buried along with grandparents, aunts, uncles, high school friends, and my first boyfriend. It is surreal to realize how life is a mere blink.

Next we see the fairgrounds. August always found it alive with horses, 4-H rabbits, pigs, cows, chickens, sewing, cake decorating, and brightly colored canned vegetables. I remember holding my breath as a high school friend was thrown into the  air during the rodeo bull riding. This is where my daughter caught a rooster with five dollars wrapped around its leg in the Chicken Catching Contest that attacked me for months whenever I left the house. It is where I fell out the back of a trailer as I was ready to model  my Grand Champion formal gown. The grandstand was full of people gasping and laughing. It is where, as a Campfire Girl, I helped people find their assigned rodeo seats.

The reunion is at the park across from the used-to-be hospital where I worked as a JUG (Just us Girls) when in high school. It is where I found myself in more than my share of trouble as my friends and I would ride the food elevator and raid the kitchen. It is where I thought I killed my friend's dad, who was a patient on the west side of the front hallway, because he died shortly after I gave him his evening back rub.

The park is full of people I don't know and I feel pressure to "turn on" so I can visit, laugh, and reminisce. Welcome to my family reunion.

Until the next time: Live while you live!

Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.

Life is good

Up early in the beautiful Rocky Mountains, rode my scooter to Safeway and then to Starbucks. Sitting by the river with my I-pad, my double tall soy latte, and a egg white spinach wrap, I thought, "This is likely as good as it gets!" Time to hear the river, like Siddhartha, and think, just think.

Seems I have so little time to think anymore. I believe thinking must be a lost art, a privilege, a memory. We have noise everywhere and information overload. The TV blatts, the radio bleats, the clothes dryer beeps. Where did the silence go? What happened to solitude, mental processing, problem solving? How do we know our opinions when we don't have time to withdraw from the chaos and reflect?

Nobody is to blame but myself, but at times it seems as though the constant interference is out of my control. My husband likes noise; he needs the TV on in order  to focus. While driving he needs talk radio blaring. If we are together, one of us is miserable. If I have my quiet, he gets antsy, and if he has his continual sounds, I am grinding my teeth.

We need change. We need a plan that offers solutions. We spend less and less time together, and that is a solution, but not real conducive to a close relationship. We could have separate offices, and that is an option, but that would require remodels, selling and buying furniture, and losing guest rooms. We could live in separate houses and only come together to sleep, but that would require buying three houses in the three cities where we seasonally live. We could divorce but that is a very poor choice because we really do love each other. We could set a timer and the noise could come on and off every 30 minutes, but I'm sure the ding would come right in the middle of my deepest thoughts.

I have tried to love his chaos and he has tried to tolerate my need for quiet. We both failed. We will keep trying. If I only had time to think, I'm sure I could figure it out. Any suggestions?

Grandkids

I'm sitting in an Adirondack chair by a pond that is surrounded by the beautiful Rocky Mountains. The sky is crystal blue and birds are soaring playfully among the pines. My granddaughter is sitting on the on a rock tossing pancake bits to the mallard ducks and trout that inhabit the water. Life is good.

Nothing is quite so sweet as having time alone with grandchildren. It is a rare opportunity to share myself at an authentic level and to believe that they let their guard down too. No other setting allots that luxury. It also brings me pleasure to see the results of my adult children's parenting successes. I see them in my grandkids facial expressions, their physical movements, and their opinions. Being with them brings purpose to my fast paced, often chaotic days. 

This morning we left the house with rubber gloves on our right hands and grocery bags in our left. We were picking up trash along side the road. She said, "Grandma, do people up here who don't know you think you're weird?" Who else could bring such laughter to my heart? I said, "Sweetie I'm sure they do, but who cares?  We're doing something good and maybe they will get the hint and stop throwing trash out their windows"

She has been patiently waiting for me to finish this posting, and we are now off to the rock shop, fun park, and library.

Until the next time: Live while you live!

Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.

3-14-13 What significance is enthusiasm in living a fulfilled life? (question from FB)

Enthusiasm is an attitude and if you keep it above a five on a scale on one to ten...ten being the highest, your life is far more fulfilled! It's a no-brainer! Anticipate and participate in events with joy and acceptance - you will find life filled with more smiles and positive memories.

Until the next time: Live while you live!

Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.

6-16-13 - Happy Father's Day

My first thought this morning: Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! Of all the things in life I value, good dads are in the top five. Neither men nor women know how to be a parent, we all have to learn. Men and women have to put themselves secondary and put kids first in order to be a loving, giving parent. That isn't always what we want to do....sometimes we want it to be all about us! Give yourself a big pat on the back for all the effort put into being the man you want your son to become and the man you want your daughter to marry! Hallelujah and thank God for dads!

Until the next time: Live while you live!

Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.

Welcome to my new blog!

6-12-13

Helping people has always been my purpose in life. It was clarified and put into words during my Master's program at Colorado State University in a course that included dozens of assessments with the final project being, "My Purpose in Life...."

I have a Ph. D. in Counseling Education, and am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I have had my own private practice counseling office for over 20 years. Other than insurance billing, I have enjoyed all aspect of being a psychotherapist, and I learned as much or more from my clients as they learned from me.

I am in the "finding an agent" phase of publishing a sweet little book about 48 client's stories and the wisdom I gained from them. You will all be the first to know if any agent or editor gives me the encouraging green light.

What I have most enjoyed, career wise, is having an individual or couple come into my counseling office, shut the door, focus on their stories, and strategize solutions. We developed rich relationships, built trust, and implemented true change. My clients will forever be close to my heart and always in my thoughts and prayers.

In my attempt to reach out to more people, I am trying the internet approach. It is not like sitting with me face to face, but it offers answers, anonymity, and convenience. And, it is free. If you are in a crisis, this is not what you need, but for ordinary bumps in the road, this can be helpful and fun. Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.

Write to me, tell me your story, and I will give you my best wisdom. Use a fake name, and nobody, including me, will know your true identity. Your stories will be included in my blog preceding my responses. What you are struggling with will help so many people because we are never alone. If you are having trouble figuring something out, hundreds of other people are too.

Ask Dr. J.! We will be a team.

Until the next time: Live while you live!