Quotes can be treasures

I had a marvelous treat tonight. I sat down to watch the news, checked to see what was on Turner Classic Movies, and GONE WITH THE WIND scrolled across the screen. It is an all time favorite of mine.

I loved the spunk and drive of Scarlet, the unbelievable charisma of Rhett, the angel-like presence of Melanie, but I didn't like the spineless Ashley, the damage of war, the tragedy of Bonnie's death, and Scarlet's blindness to true love. I have always gained so much from contemplating the message behind quotes and Gone With the Wind is no exception. I am leaving you with my favorites from the movie:

 Scarlet: "As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!" 
 Scarlet: "I'll think about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day." 
 Rhett: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!" 
 Scarlet: "Oh,Fiddle-dee-dee." 
 Scarlet's father: "It will come to you, this love of the land. There's no gettin' away from it if      you're Irish."  
 Rhett: "Don't drink alone Scarlet, people will always find out and ruin your reputation."    Mammy: "It ain't fittin, it just ain't fittin!"

Until the next time: Live while you live!

Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.

Treat yourself to a massage

I just had a one hour massage and if I had a magic wand, I would have everyone in the whole wide world get one every Monday morning. My legs and neck and hands.....my whole body feels renewed and younger and ready to greet the week.

I told my massuse, "The perfect massage therapy business would have 20 rooms and after the treatment, one could lie on the table as long as they wanted. They could pay by the hour.....the music and aroma could let me sleep deep for at least 6 hours:-)

But, since we don't have a perfect world, I tried to enjoy it for the thousands of people who wouldn't even know what I was talking about. I dragged my body off the table, and made another appointment.....telling myself, "You are worth it!"

I promise to appreciate and enjoy it for the rest of the world! One of life's true luxuries!


Until the next time: Live while you live!

Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.

Give yourself a gift - a day by yourself

I love spending time with my sweet husband, family members, and friends. But, once in a while, it is good for me to have a day to myself.

Yesterday was a good example. I had three appointments in Denver, two of which were not much fun, and one that was a necessity, a haircut. The appointments are not what made my isolating day valuable.

What made it good, like a gift, is that I did exactly what I wanted. I listened to my choice of music, stopped for coffee, ate lunch where I could have tofu in my salad, stopped for dessert at a sidewalk crepe café, walked, took a bus, drove home the long way, and finished my day at the Stanley Hotel enjoying delicious salmon, reading a book, and listening to strangers laugh and discuss intellectual opinions concerning tourism in Colorado.

I did no shopping, called no friends for lunch, turned off my phone, and enjoyed me in my day. 

I guess I needed the time; time to feel no pressure from anyone for anything.
I suggest everyone treat themselves to a day, once in a while, by themselves. Don't design it like mine, don't plan it at all. Allow the moment to mandate what you choose.

There are so many treasures hidden along the side of the road as we are rushing from one obligation to another; new experiences that can offer simple pleasures, freedom of thought, and refreshed perspectives.  

Stroll through a day by yourself for a change; become reacquainted with who you are and what you value. You are worth the gift!

Until the next time: Live while you live!

Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.

Self-love

We often think about love as an emotion; elated feelings of joy, warmth, and fullness. Visions of love include hearts, cupids, roses, and kisses. I believe love is an attitude, kindness, respect, and admiration. It is also an action: helping, supporting, and communicating.

There is even a theory that we each have a love language; gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. (Gary Chapman)

Whatever love means to each of us, we need to transfer the goodness of emotion, attitude or action to ourselves. We must love ourselves first! We cannot give away something we don't have.

Allow yourself to feel positive emotions about your thoughts, choices, and desires. Every day, do some nice things for yourself; long walk, hot bath, phone call to a friend. Know your own love language so you can ask for what you want, but more importantly, you can do for yourself what you want others to do for you.


Until the next time: Live while you live!

Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.

Life is our best professor

I believe life is about learning, and the older I get the more I realize our lessons come to us - we do not need to go searching for them. I also have come to know that our teachers are seldom kind, sweet, and gentle.

This week I have been struggling to figure out what I am suppose to learn from an experience I had via email. A close family member sent me a message specifically accusing me of a heinous act.

What am I suppose to learn from this? I've walked and talked and prayed and written and thought. My heart hurts, my head aches, and body screams with questions. Just when I think I am about to put the pieces together, a new memory pops up and I am back to confusion.

I've learned what it feels like to become an instant victim; I've learned, again, that I should not trust someone just because they are family; I've learned the value of having a supportive spouse; I've learned, again, that kindness does not always beget kindness; I've learned, again, the venom of jealousy; and the immense power of one's thoughts.

I forgive her because I know she needs help. She needs regular therapy, she needs drugs that don't just allow her to sleep most of the day, but drugs that help her cope and live life fully. 

I also know I do not need to learn the lesson of her wrath again, I got it. I can care for her, but I can also care for myself and guard against being in situations where she gets the opportunity to fabricate other defaming stories.

I have gained compassion for people who are falsely blamed for crimes they did not commit. It is a helpless feeling. 

May you all learn from my experience: be careful who you trust, and love yourself enough to create safe boundaries from anyone, even family, who intentionally and maliciously impose harm.

Don't forget the given: we have no control over someone else, because we don't control their thoughts. But, we have 100% control of ourselves. THAT is the good news.


Until the next time: Live while you live!

Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.

The value of thinking

Sitting in a quaint little coffee shop in Bisbee AZ, looking around the room at people reading, working on their computers, asking the barista if there is any healthy food, or just drinking their favorite brew and looking out the window onto Main Street and Tombstone Canyon, I can't help but ponder the value of time to just sit and think.

I love drive time, walking time, writing time, and kneeling in church time, because all four activate my thoughts. These are times when my head connects with my heart and my creativity is accessed. We must allow time for the inside of us to surface so we can understand what distinguishes us from the masses.

How can we ever get to know ourselves if we never take time to build a relationship with the person who lives in our spine?

As a counselor, when I closed the door to my office, and the world left me alone with my client, I was more connected to my true self than any other time of the day. I was congruent for the benefit of helping, but it was truly a gift to me. I described it as transformation-from the outer Jennifer to the inner, wiser Dr. J.

So, figure out your activities that allow thinking time; true-self time to think. Grant yourself priority and become more of who you really are!


Until the next time: Live while you live!

Call 911, without hesitation, if you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else.